The Day I Sat in a Wildflower Field

2 years ago today I arrived in Mellen on my Solo 12 hour drive up to get ready for the wedding. I was in a “Wisconsin Lakes and Bonfires” shirt with retro jean shorts and a bandana. I stopped in a candy shop about halfway up MN and got a chocolate covered rice crispy treat and for the first time in 2 and a half years, I didn’t need to hate myself for it. These might seem to be unnecessary facts, but this was the day I became free.

My big city mentality and pinterest boards full of NYC apartment decorating ideas all disappeared in a moment. Through my confusion and pain, another part of me that loves to eat s’mores, lay in wildflower fields, explore, and be in the sunshine, was about to come to light.

I arrived at my soon to be in-laws house, unpacked and took a walk with my fiancé. I starred down the dirt road, the trees were such a rich green, the ditches were full of daisies, and the sky was bright blue (no humidity ya’ll).

We walked down the road over a couple hills and ended up in a big field of wild buttercups and daisies. I remember always loving how land looked up here because in the south midwest, if there is an ounce of land, it’s a corn field. I had never sat in a field of flowers before like, are you kidding me that’s a dream! Little did I know that, from that moment on, I would spend hours in places like this.

I sat in the field and listened to the birds, Hunter was playing with his dog scout a couple hundred feet down the field from me, it was quiet, I put my face in the sun, I closed my eyes, I remember feeling peace, just being content and free.

I needed to slow down

The coming months would be the hardest in my whole life. Feeling like I had reached the finish line at 19, feeling as though my years were passed and I needed to find something to pass the time with.

That finish line I thought I had crossed was a mirage of my own desires for life, I saw it as a punishment, I never wanted to get close to something again.

But, as usual, I was wrong, I had been racing towards the starting line, for the things I could have never dreamt are coming to fruition. The blessings set into our lives are more than any Vogue watermark could ever be.

“For I know the Plans I have for you, Plans to Prosper and Not to Harm you, Plans to Give You Hope and a Future”

Jeremiah 29:11

This was the verse that would be said at our wedding 3 days later. And if I had half the faith I claim to hold, I would have listened to it sooner.

~Annalisa